Didn’t sleep at all last night.

I went to bed at midnight thinking I would wake up early but was in pain and couldn’t sleep all night.

It wasn’t the usual sharp pain it was more this ache everywhere. A kind of severe discomfort which meant I could never get to or stay asleep.

I realised it was pretty futile trying to even fight it so I ended up just reading all night. I read all of Lisa Feldman Barrett’s book and it was an absolute joy.

Once I finished that I tried reading another book about cancer, Emperor of Maladies, but it made me feel queasy so I stopped and started reading something else.

I did try and sleep at various points. I know I should be sleeping on my back but there is just no way I could sleep in that position.

I would read lying on my back for about an hour and then I would try and sleep on one of my sides and then when that didn’t work switch to the other side.

The night was spent worrying about my back position and worrying about blood test tomorrow and worrying about how I’m going to change my diet.

The more I think about it almost every single thing I put into my mouth is starch or a carbohydrate or sugar.

I’m literally having a croissant for breakfast, a pizza for lunch, a big cookie, then loads of potatoes, a bit of meat… another cookie.

I feel panicked, like I might never escape this starch loop.

I made my mind up that I am going to start this diet test.

Let’s see if having less starch helped from the morning and I did.

Kat was a bit resistant first but when I said I didn’t want to have any breakfast. She said I had could have two eggs (without toast) instead which I thought was a great idea.

We went for a walk in the morning To Wanstead Park. Felt tired and stiff and not great but it was good to get out and I felt better for it.

Kat said she was going to make me pasta for lunch and I had to explain to her that didn’t really want to have any starch at the moment and just to give this thing a go.

I think this is going to be a difficult adjustment for both of us.

There was a bit of back and forth she was saying, “well if you’re not going to have pasta what are you going to have?”

I that I didn’t know and not to worry because I would get something while I was out.

She asked if I wanted to try some black bean pasta that was just made from soy and had no starch in it and I said yes.

She cooked mushrooms and bacon to go with it and it was delicious. Looks really cool and genuinely takes it like that said to me.